my life is a catch 22. I like to live it, it likes to die. The harder i push, the harder it pushes back, the only real problem is that its a battle i can't win. I can take a beating, obnoxious pain for years now, not sleeping, not eating, no therapy, falling, being dirty, being alone (although it sucks im at peace with it. i have had more love in my life then i deserved), i can take so much more then that too, i just down want to sound like a crybaby because its all peanuts.... insignificant. My real frustration is within myself letting myself down. I let myself down by not accomplishing what i really wanted to. I wanted to support myself. Independently, and i am not at that stage yet. Im working against the clock tho, not for death because nobody knows that, but for my ability to just get by. Hawaii was not a relaxing trip, and i am now so much weaker because of the strain. I returned to my room to think. and thinking is all i have been doing within the last 48 hours.
I refuse to let myself down. I have already let down enough people (you know who you are, and Im sorry)
Im giving myself a deadline, because my body is coming up with its own. By the end of august, i will be employed in some way. LA is not kind to people looking for work. But lets see what a rebel on wheels from nj can pull off. I usually get my way, and right now is the most important time in my life. Its the only time.
Love
Mike
Help to save Mikey's life
As you know, Mikey has always been able to smile through the pain, no matter what, until recently. The pain in his stomach is now worse than ever and has led to an inability to eat, causing rapid weight loss. At 6'1", he's a meager 75 lbs and dropping fast. It's getting more difficult for Mikey to smile through the pain and fear.
One of the only places where Mikey can get help is the MAYO clinic in Minnesota. There, a team of specialized doctors will work together to figure out how his illnesses affect each other and can be treated to restore health and balance to his body so he can keep living his incredible life.
All of this obviously comes with a large amount of costs, which can only be covered with the help and donations of as many people as possible – even if it's just a dollar. Please click on one of the two following links to access the crowd funding campaigns that will help Mikey get better. Thank you!
1 comments :
Right now is what we all have hayaty. I know what happens when you put your mind to something!
Love you.
Mom
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